Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
