I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
