I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
