she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
