No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
