Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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