so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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