Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
