Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
