If i could tip my vagina, i would.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
We don't watch enough power rangers
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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