I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
There's always time for handjobs
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
