do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
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