just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
