I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
