dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Why are your pants in the freezer?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
