I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
