yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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