It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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