Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
