that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
and you fell through a lawn chair
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
