All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
