its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
