i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
