actually, I'm a sock model
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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