I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
