when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
