Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
