Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
