your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Randomize
