When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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