hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Randomize
