I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Randomize
