Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
