I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
