her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
