Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I'm always down for nudity.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
