dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
