The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
