i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
