my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
