YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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