she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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