If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
