I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
