Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
