I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
