Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
