just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
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