I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I need to calm my uterus...
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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