I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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