I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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