how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
