my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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